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Friday, October 21, 2011

strange stories and twixted

Blonde Supermarket JokeShown-up in the Supermarket

Dylan is in a queue at the Supermarket when he notices that the rather dishy blonde behind him has just raised her hand and is giving him a big 'hello'.
He is rather taken aback that such a looker would be waving to him, and although her face is vaguely familiar, Dylan can't place where he might know her from, so he says, 'Sorry, do you know me?'
She replies, 'I may be mistaken, but I thought you might be the father of one of my children'
Dylan's mind shoots back to the one and only time he has been unfaithful, 'Blimey!' 
he says, 'Did we meet on Frank's stag do in Newport?  Dylan continued, 
'When I was released from the police station and got back to the hotel room, 
you had gone.'
No, 'she replies, 'I'm your son's English Teacher'.
Names have been changed to protect our friends.

Strange Story Story of the Cigars (89)
A man from Charlotte, North Carolina, having purchased a case of very expensive cigars, insured them against, among other things, fire. Within a month, having smoked his entire stockpile, the man .... filed a claim against the insurance company, stating that the cigars were lost 'in a series of small fires'.
The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious reason that the man had consumed the cigars in the normal fashion. The man sued ....

– and won.

In delivering the ruling the judge, agreeing that the claim was frivolous, stated nevertheless that the man held a policy from the company in which it had warranted that the cigars were insurable and also guaranteed that it would insure against fire, without defining what it considered to be 'unacceptable fire', and was obliged to pay the claim. Rather than endure a lengthy and costly appeal the insurance company ....... 

... accepted the ruling and paid the man $15,000 for the rare cigars he had lost 'in the fires'.

After he cashed the cheque, however, the company had him arrested on 24 counts of arson. With his own insurance claim and testimony from the previous case being used against him, the man was ....

.... convicted of intentionally burning his insured property and sentenced to 24 months in jail and a $24,000 fine.

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