Heavenly Father, look down on us your humble, obedient tourist servants, who are doomed to travel this earth, taking photographs, mailing postcards, buying souvenirs and walking around in drip-dry underwear.
Give us this day Divine Guidance in the selection of our hotels, that we may find our reservations honoured, our rooms made up, breakfast included, and (hot) water running in the taps.
We pray that the telephones work, and the operators speak our tongue.
Lead us, dear Lord, to good, inexpensive restaurants where the food is superb, the waiters friendly and the wine served complimentary.
Give us wisdom to tip correctly in currencies we do not understand. Forgive us for undertipping out of ignorance and overtipping out of fear. Make the locals love us for who we are, and not for what we can contribute to their wordly goods.
(for males only)Grant us the strength to visit the museums, the cathedrals, the colonial houses, national parks, and convict jails listed as "must see" in our guide books.
(for the elderly)And if by chance we skip an historic monument to take a nap after lunch, have mercy on us, for the flesh is but weak.
For Husbands only:
Dear God, keep our wives from shopping sprees and protect them from ‘bargains’ they don’t need or can’t afford.
Lead them not into temptation for they know not what they do!
For Wives only:
Almightly Father, keep our husbands from looking at foreign women and comparing them to us.
Save them from making fools of themselves in cafes and night clubs.
Above all do not forgive them their trespasses for they know exactly what they do.