Charlie regrets filing his tax return online, after heeding the meddling Bartlet's advice.
- Want me to pull you out? - Please.
Okay, we're e-filing the old 1040-A.
You're single, head of your household.
Deanna's a dependent.
Your adjusted gross income is 35,000 per annum.
- Sir, I could do most of this myself.
- I love this.
- Really? Filing tax returns? - Yeah.
- What? I was thinking about the plurality of Americans who decided to pull a lever with your name.
Your mom's social security pension benefit is $ 1536.
- Police pension, $2400.
- And here's where my question is Do you take a standard deduction or itemize? - Yes, sir.
- Did you make any charitable donations? Five hundred dollars to the First Baptist Church.
One hundred eighty-five dollars to the Salvation Army in clothing and items.
Five hundred dollars to the Police Benevolence Society of Washington D.
And $250 to Big Brothers and Sisters of Washington D.
- Really? - Yeah.
Plus, $430 in non-reimbursed medical expenses.
You're better off with the standard deduction.
- I'm hitting send now.
- If you're lying, you're going to the joint.
It's gonna tell us what your refund is, but I've done a calculation and it will be $ 700.
- That's what I got.
- You spent it already.
- I'm getting a scan DVD player with MP3 playback.
Free shipping and tax is $499 which leaves enough to buy a DVD I found on eBay.
- Yeoman of the Guard? - How well you know me, Mr.
- On Her Majesty's Secret Service.
- Can I tell you what's wrong about Bond? - Nothing.
- Shaken not stirred will get you water with a dash of gin and vermouth.
The reason you stir it with a special spoon is so not to chip the ice.
James is ordering a weak martini and being snooty about it.
I'll reflect on that while watching my digital-enhanced picture with theater-quality sound.
- Seven hundred dollars? - Four hundred.
- I'm only getting $400 back? - You owe $400.
- I owe the government money.
- You don't need a stamp.
Hand it over.
- There's a mistake.
- Hand it over.
- There's no way I owe money.
- That's not quite how we see it.
- Could I sit down there, please? - Sure.
- Can you sit for a minute? - Yeah.
I'm in a bind, and I think you know what it is.
I'm sorry, I don't.
I respect the anonymity of an alcoholic, I can't reveal what's said in a meeting but I've got a responsibility to the president, and in fact, to the country.
Leo, I'm sorry.
I honestly don't know what you're saying.
- You've gotta tell the president.
- Tell him what? - That you're an alcoholic.
- Are you telling me he doesn't know? - How would he know? - You didn't tell him? Of course I didn't.
- Before you picked me, you didn't tell? - No.
- I always assumed - No.
Let's go see our boss.
- How was the NGA? Oh, you know the governors, too many mandates, too little money.
- I can hear that one at home.
- Good one.
- The governors liked it.
Have you announced for the governor of New Jersey bill? - Excuse me? - Did I miss an announcement? That's three years away.
I'm trying to serve I never heard of these loans.
So I'm assuming it's a campaign proposal.
Camden and Newark will go nuts.
I know it's not national.
- Give me a break.
- Know how I know? National programs are announced by the president unless this White House passes on them first.
Toby, this is a nickel-and-dime program.
We're announcing a new replacement for Social Security - I thought we were - They're not your nickels.
- They're not your dimes! - Hang on a minute.
The president asked me to join his Cabinet.
He asked me to stall my career with the agreement that he'd help me You don't want it.
You're helping yourself.
If this announcement makes A17 of the Metro section, I'd be surprised.
There's one name on the ballot this November.
Not yours, not mine, not the governor of New Jersey.
No one will work harder than Jed Bartlet to put you there.
This president loses reelection, your career is finished, and so is mine.
What's your point? Next time you announce new policy that isn't cleared we're announcing you're moving back to New Jersey.
- What about the loans? - C.
will announce them tomorrow.
Let me do it with the president.
It's too small for the president.
I've gotta go back to a meeting.
It was the rebate.
- It wasn't a rebate.
It was an advance.
- You say potato .
- I do say potato, so does everybody.
We wanted to inject money into retail and tourism.
Why not wait until people were supposed to have the money? The economy might have improved on its own by then.
In which case, it would have been pointless.
- Economists make it up as they go along.
- Did it work? Not that much.
Most people did what you did.
They saved or they paid down debt.
We don't want people to save and reduce debt? We do, but when the next guy's president.
- You win.
- I always do.
- I'll tell you what I find interesting.
- What's that? You.
$35,000 a year, a sister to support and you gave $ 1435 to charity? I'm not sure that check isn't better off in your hands.
Oh, I'm taking it.
Don't be ridiculous.
When you get to your place, you're gonna find a DVD player and that wimp-ass Bond movie.
President And I threw in Yeoman of the Guard on CD.
- That was an incredibly nice gesture.
- I'm really something.