SNL -complaints at Tech Talk

 SNL offered its satirical take on various complaints about Apple's new iPhone 5.

HERE YOU CAN read CNNnews about a skit that skewered the tech press and featured a confrontation with SNL's version of Chinese factory workers who make the iPhone.

Guest SNL host Christina Applegate as "Tech Talk" host Caitlin Owens started the skit interviewing reporters from CNET (SNL's Bill Hader playing "Josh Savage" in a nod to our own intrepid Apple reporter, Josh Lowensohn), Wired, and Gizmodo about a "plethora of glitches and design flaws."

The three "reporters" in serious geek mode expressed their concerns about the flawed Apple maps, purple screen haze, and more absurdly that the iPhone 5 is too thin and light. They were then joined by three Chinese factory workers (no mention of Foxconn), speaking in bad, fake Chinese accents.

The "workers" shared their perspective on the iPhone 5 issues with the complainers. For example:

"You want Starbucks and it takes you to Dunkin Donut. That must be so hard for you." 

"I guess we are lucky. We don't need maps. We sleep where we work."

The skit also included some new forms of communication -- "traditional sarcastic dance" and "sad Chinese violin." 

 Asked if they would like to complain about a product made in America, one of Chinese workers (SNL's Fred Armisen) said: "What does America make? Does diabetes count as a product? If not, we have to get back to you."

Caitlin Owens: Hello. Welcome to "Tech Talk". I'm your host -- Caitlin Owens. And today's topic: The iPhone 5 and its plethora of glitches and design flaws. Joining me today are Josh Savage, of C-Net... 

Josh Savage: [ smugly ] Thanks for having me! 

Caitlin Owens: Adrienne Terzoli, from Wired Magazine... 

Adrienne Terzoli: [ haughtily ] Hi! 

Caitlin Owens: And Dennis Metcalf, from Gizmodo. 

Dennis Metcalf: [ frog-voiced ] It's great to be here. 

Caitlin Owens: Great! Josh, we'll start with you. What are your complaints about the iPhone 5? 

Josh Savage: Well, Caitlin, everyone knows that Apple Maps has been a total disaster... and since there's no Google Maps app yet, I've been forced to use Google Maps in mybrowser... which is significantly slower. 

Caitlin Owens: Ugh! What a NIGHTMARE! Adrienne? 

Adrienne Terzoli: I'm just upset about the camera. Every time I point it straight at the sun, there's a very slight, purplish hue in all of my photos! What is that?! 

Caitlin Owens: Exactly! It's... unacceptable! Dennis? 

Dennis Metcalf: Well, the bottom line is... it's just too light. I mean, I know we asked for a phone that was lighter and thinner, but... this is ridiculous! I mean, I feel like I'm holding three pieces of paper that are stapled together -- not a Smartphone! 

Caitlin Owens: Wow... that must be so hard to deal with. 

Dennis Metcalf: It's a real struggle. I mean, whoever built these iPhones, I don't know what they were thinking! 

Caitlin Owens: Let's ask them. Joining us now are three peasant laborers from the factory in China where these iPhones were manufactured. 

Dennis Metcalf: [ his eyes grow wide ] Say what? 

Caitlin Owens: Please welcome Mashu Quin, Li Hai, and Shu Chow. [ the frowning peasants are revealed ] Thanks for joining us. 

Shu Chow: Hi. 

Mashu Quin: good to see you. 

Li Hai: This should be fun. 

Dennis Metcalf: Can I leave? 

Caitlin Owens: No, you may not! 

Josh Savage: Can we withdraw all our earlier complaints? 

Caitlin Owens: Absolutely not, this is a trap! So, Mr. Chow -- Josh here was just complaining about... Apple Maps. 

Josh Savage: [ worried ] Uh -- uh -- uh, it wasn't really a complaint... 

Shu Chow: Ohhhhh. Talk about Apple Map. It won't work, right? It take you to wrong place? You want Starbuck, it take you to Dunkin Donut? That must be... so hard for you! 

Li Hai: Oh, yeah. You want Macy, it take you to J.C. Penney? Ohhhh! How you deal with that? 

Mashu Quin: Oh! I guess we just lucky, you know, we don't need map. You know, because we sleep where we work? Yeah, but thank you for pointing out problem. 

Josh Savage: I-I-I-I'm so sorry... I'm so sorry. 

Caitlin Owens: And you guys were complaining a lot about the apps, right? That they were loading too slow? 

Josh Savage: Oh, no... 

Dennis Metcalf: No, no, no... 

Adrienne Terzoli: They're wonderful! 

Shu Chow: Uh-oh! Your apps run too slow? You can't play Angry Bird? Yeah, I have an angry bird, too -- a chicken in a factory tried to steal my LUNCH! 

Li Hai: Ohhh, Twitter run too slow? You can't read Kardashian tweet about handbag? Mybrother have handbag, too -- he lose hand, keep it in BAG until he can afford to re-attach!

Adrienne Terzoli: We didn't mean to offend you. There were just some bugs with the new phone. 

Shu Chow: Oh! You upset with bug? They're too many bug in phone, yeah? I sleep in communal bunk bed with HUNDRED stranger! Lice are BEST bug I get! Lice are BEST! 

Caitlin Owens: Here's a quote from your web site, Josh! 

Josh Savage: Oh, please don't read that! please don't read that! 

Caitlin Owens: It says: "I can't believe I waited six hours in lnie for this piece of crap." 

Shu Chow: Oh! Oh, you wait in line for six hours! That sounds tough! One time, she wait in line twenty-one days for a baby forumla! 

Mashu Quin: You know, food to feed baby? 

Shu Chow: So very similar, yes! 

Dennis Metcalf: Look, we're sorry, okay? It's just, the iPhone 4 seemed to work better? 

Shu Chow: Hey, you know what? We are being unfair. There are legitimate problem with new iPhone. So, go ahead -- make complaint. 

Dennis Metcalf: You sure? 

Shu Chow: Sure! Go ahead! We all friends! 

Dennis Metcalf: Okay, um... well... the casing scratches very easily... 

[ suddenly, Li Hai is playing a sad lament on a skinny violin ] 

Shu Chow: Do you mind? Li Hai going to play sad Chinese violin from New York subway while you complain... and Mashu Quin going to perform traditional sarcastic dance. [ Mashu Quin stands to perform her dance ] Go ahead! 

Dennis Metcalf: [ ashamed ] Uh -- You know what? Uh -- I think I'd rather just stay quiet. 

Shu Chow: That's a good idea, Einstein! Okay, we're done shaming him now. 

Caitlin Owens: And, finally -- would you guys like to complain about an Americanproduct? 

Mashu Quin: Hmm... 

Li Hai: Oh, that's good question... 

Shu Chow: Let's see... what does America make? Let's see... does diabetes count as aproduct? If not, we have to get back to you. 

Caitlin Owens: Alright, let's take a break! When we return, more humiliation on... "Tech Talk"! 

Citizen help! or nailing the citizen whereas they are servicing you

Kafka alive in a country something like ours! 

On the westernmost corner of the peninsula of our Euroasiatic continent

                   A real story Mr  R. C. (14/04/2012)

 Over a year ago I bought  a mixer blender which cost me over 800 euros in a store in P______ .Within a few months, making a puree, it broke the inner blade, probably due to a manufacturing defect. I went to the store with my certificate of guarantee. 

(not the real brand)

After contacting the supplier, and as always, this happened to be the only part NOT covered by warranty. The blade costs 200 euros which must be paid in advance. Obviously the range of price is expensive and if I don't want to throw the device, I accept this piece is worth 25 percent of total value.

I fill out the questionnaire with all relevant details and I place it, in June 2011, at the offices of District Council in my county, C_____. I  reveived a copy of the form.  Six months after having filled in the complaint, I am still having no news. I keep on phoning and somehow cannot reach the manager. Luckily, in the end,  I managed to talk to him. He assured me that my file was already sent to the distric capital, G_______ city.

In February, I get news from G________ saying that they had returned the case to P________. Can you believe it? Back to square one! Great achievement indeed! 
In March I managed to talk to the head of the office in P________ who told me that he had personally brought it back to G_________. I called them and there, a very friendly lady informs me that my complaint has not been processed because they deal with complaints issued  by individuals, not  by companies. 
To sum up, ten months needed to learn that my complaint channel was not right. I've given up. I have no extra time to spare, or enough staff to waste their time with such a complaint. Little had I doubted that our Administration was there to help us.  
Not anymore. I quit.

Indeed, it looks a country something like ours!

C_________ stands for Cerdanya,

P_________ stands for Puigcerdà

G_________ stands for Girona

 Mr  R. C. from Llivia.