On wedding vows and rows -rites and righting wrongs

 Committing matrimony:

Rites

 and righting wrongs

What does being committed to 

your marriage really mean?

   (1)            Till Death Do Us Part

 This  is a well-known phrase from the marriage liturgy in the Book of Common Prayer.  

 Rite of Marriage (#25):

 X take thee Y to my wedded  spouse to have and to hold from this day forward,   for better for worse, for richer for poorer,

 in sickness and in health, to love, cherish, and to obey/worship,

 till death us do part, according to God's holy ordinance

              Claiming rights

• The oldest traditional wedding vows can be traced back to the manuals of the medieval church.

•  PRAYER BOOK- 1552

                          For husbands

Wilt thou love her, coumforte her, honor, and kepe her in sickenesse and in health?

                          For wifes

Wylte thou obey him, and serve him, love, honor, and kepe him, in sickenes and in health?

• the Episcopal Church voted to remove the word "obey" (1922) 

      (2)     DO US PART Software  HUMOUR

     (3)         Will and Guy's Joke of the Day

Boyfriend v Husband Software Rows ;-)

            Dear Tech Support,

• Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0. 

• What I have noticed is a slow down in the performance of the flower and jewellery applications, which had operated flawlessly under the Boyfriend 5.0 system. 

• In addition, Husband 1.0 un-installed many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.9, but installed undesirable programs such as Sport 7.3, NFL 3.2 and Tennis 4.1.  

• Conversation 8.0 also no longer runs and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. 

• I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail. What can I do?

                  Your faithfully 

                     Desperate Susan


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                                    Reply from Tech Support

                Dear Desperate Susan, 

• First, keep in mind that Boyfriend 5.0 was an entertainment package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Try to enter the command C:/I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME and install Tears 6.2.  Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications: Guilt 3.3 and Flowers 7.5.   

• But remember, overuse can cause Husband 1.0 to default to such background applications as Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1. Please remember that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will create Snoring Loudly.WAV files.

• DO NOT install Mother-In-Law 1.0 or reinstall another Boyfriend program. These are not supported applications and will crash Husband 1.0. It could also potentially cause Husband 1.0 to default to the program: Girlfriend 9.2, which runs in the background and has been known to introduce viruses into the Operating System.

• In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have a limited memory and can't learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to enhance his system performance. 

• I personally recommend Home Cooking 3.0 + Single Malt Scotch 4.5. Finally consider applications such as Lingerie 6.9 (which has been credited with improved performance of his hardware).

                 Good Luck

         Tech Support